We Take A Look Inside The Twisted Mind Of R Kelly

Sippin’ on coke and rum
I’m like so what I’m drunk
It’s the freakin’ weekend baby
I’m about to have me some fun

This is where R Kelly’s gangster side really comes out. Sure, he’s sippin’ on a coke and rum but don’t be hassling the man cos it’s the freakin’ weekend baby, let him have some fun. I mean Jesus, if it was a Tuesday then yes, there would be perhaps be some cause for concern and possibly a question should be raised regarding R. Kelly’s drinking habits. However, luckily, it’s the end of the week and R Kelly wants to do nothing more than to let his hair down, drink a rum and coke (I assume he drinks them in single measurements, maybe doubles if it’s a wedding or bar mitzvah) and pursue a female that looks like a blocky sports car.

Now it’s like murder she wrote
Once I get you out them clothes

Now I could be wrong, but is he referring to the eighties daytime show with the old woman who plays a mystery writer cum detective? If so, why has that show sprung to mind when his ladyfriend undresses? So, she looks a car and reminds of him a meddling old white bitch? Jeez.

Then after the show it’s the (after party)
And after the party it’s the (hotel lobby)

Who actually parties in hotel lobbies? Unless you mistakenly went on holiday to Dubai and realise the country has stringent alcohol laws, I’m guessing no one. What is there to do? There isn’t a bar bro. As well, the swanky ones are all airy so there is the definite possibility of a draft and a crick in the neck is the last thing you want if you’re gonna be bocatting later on. Also, I’m pretty sure hotel policy states that you can’t just sit around getting pissed whilst other non partying guests come and check in. How gutted would you be if you’d scraped some pennies together and got a late night flight for weekend break, you get to the hotel and there’s R Kelz and his boys is getting merry till 4 am? 4 AM! I’m not a stick in the mud but 4 am is just an unacceptable exploitation of hotel privileges. I’m just thinking out loud here.

And finally, what does it exactly mean to give someone a ‘toot toot’ or a ‘beep beep’? It’s not the sexiest request you can ask someone while they run their hands through your sweet ‘fro. And no, I’m not even going to go into the fact that he doesn’t even have a ‘fro in the video. Ok, I’ll say one thing: what’s with the bit where it cuts to a random close up shot of him slowly rotating? It’s almost as if he’s coyly reiterating the fact that he doesn’t have a ‘fro to his adoring fans.

Maybe there were creative differences between him and the director. Who knows? Maybe it’s another issue that needs delving into. I’d be more than willing to do it.

Anyway, I am going to read some Plato or something now and pretend I didn’t spend an hour writing a supremely irrelevant article on a nine-year-old R&B song. See ya. However, you probably actually want to listen to Ignition after that so here’s the video for you below. Can you view it in the same way after this examination of the lyrics? Probably, I mean it is a banger.

(Follow a brother: @Josephtinkler)