Big news out of Russia is that Vladimir Putin is planning to step down from office next year as speculation mounts that the longtime President may have Parkinson’s Disease, reports the NY Post.

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Moscow political scientist Valery Solovei says Putin’s 37-year-old girlfriend, Alina Kabaeva, and his two daughters are pushing him to leave office:

There is a family, it has a great influence on him. He intends to make public his handover plans in January.

Obviously Parkinson’s is no joke, but it’s not going to stop Putin ensuring that he’s able to ride off into the sunset without any other issues, as he will implement a law before stepping down that will give him lifetime immunity from all the crimes he commited while in office. A law to protect him from breaking the law! The man’s a (evil) genius!

Here’s how the Moscow Times puts it:

Russian lawmakers submitted legislation Thursday that would grant former presidents lifetime immunity from criminal prosecution under President Vladimir Putin’s constitutional reforms, Interfax reported.

Under current laws, presidents cannot be held criminally or administratively liable for crimes committed while serving their terms. A parliamentary working group assessing Putin’s constitutional reforms proposed earlier this year to extend presidential immunity beyond their terms of office.

“The bill secures immunity guarantees for ex-presidents beyond the terms of their presidential powers,” Interfax quoted Senator Andrei Klishas, the group’s co-chair, as telling reporters.

“This expands the timeframe of immunity guarantees for a president who stops exercising their powers,” added Klishas, who chairs the upper-house Federation Council’s Committee on Constitutional Legislation and State Building.

All those political rivals who were murdered/disappeared off the face of the planet, all those journalists he had thrown into jail for criticising him, all the money he stole, all the Ukrainians he fucked with… Putin is going to get away with all of it thanks to this new law that makes it legal for Russian Presidents to break the law. Amazing.

Not only that, Putin will also be retiring from office as one of the richest men in the world. How rich? According to CNBC, Putin’s net worth is $200 BILLION. Richer than Bill Gates & Jeff Bezos!

But as the Seattle entrepreneurs jockey for the top ranking, Russian President Vladimir Putin is worth more than both Gates and Bezos combined, says one financier. Putin’s net worth is estimated to be $200 billion, according to former Hermitage Capital Management CEO Bill Browder, who testified to the Senate Judiciary Committee last week, according to prepared remarks obtained by The Atlantic.

So – he’ll have $200 billion and complete lifetime immunity from every horrific, tyrannical thing he’s ever done while he spends the rest of his days chilling on probably 1000 acres of the finest land in Russia with palaces and servants and all the rest of it. Sorted!

I’m sure the haters will be hoping that Parkinson’s ravages him and I don’t blame them to be fair. It would be a pretty sweet dose of karma if you want to look at it that way. But if you also want to tip your cap to the extent of his evil brilliance, I can’t be mad at that either.

For the guy who found an Aldi steak that looks exactly like Vladimir Putin, click HERE. Uncanny!