Prince Harry’s new bones and all autobiography is set to drop next week and we’re being treated to a bunch of dumb stories in the build up to the release with this next one emerging regarding the guy’s drug use during his teenage years.

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I doubt it will surprise too many people to hear that the Prince was regularly taking cocaine in this period and also dabbled with magic mushrooms too. Here’s what he had to say about the experience:

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Of course I had been doing cocaine around this time. At someone’s country house during a hunting weekend, I’d been offered a line, and I’d done a few more since.

It wasn’t much fun, and it didn’t make me particularly happy, as it seemed to make everyone around me.

But it did make me feel different, and that was the main goal. Feel. Different.

I was a deeply unhappy 17-year-old willing to try almost anything that would alter the status quo. That was what I told myself anyway.

Another time, one of my mates opened a fridge door looking for a drink.

While the door was open, we spotted a huge box of black diamond mushroom chocolates.

Someone behind me said they were for everybody. ‘Help yourself, boys’.

My mate and I grabbed several, gobbled them, washed them down with tequila.

Beside the toilet was a round silver bin, the kind with a foot pedal to open the lid. I stared at the bin. It stared back. Then it became… a head.

I stepped on the pedal and the head opened its mouth. A huge open grin.

I laughed, turned away, took a p***. Now the loo became a head too. The bowl was its gaping maw, the hinges of the seat were its piercing silver eyes. It said, ‘Aaah’.

Geez. What a completely banal experience for the guy to write about. It’s hard to believe but he even makes doing drugs sound boring and lame. Need to immediately read some Hunter S. Thompson afterwards to counteract the effect.

As for Prince Harry himself, I suppose it’s cool that he got to experience some illegal substances at a young age, but sadly they don’t seem to have turned him into an interesting party animal, instead just making him into more of a loser who thinks it’s a good idea to talk like this in his autobiography. Sad for the guy, but interested to see how many more lame anecdotes are going to appear over the next week or so. Seems like they’re neverending at the moment.

For more of the same, check out all the stories that have emerged from Harry’s wet autobiography so far. Can’t believe he actually let this stuff get published.