Essex Police is running out of vegan meals because they’ve arrested so many Just Stop Oil protesters that the supply is simply not enough.

Just last week, the force arrested and charged 17 activists after they brought chaos to the M25 and caused a police motorcyclist to be thrown from his bike. Many of the activists they’re now arresting are being held on remand for the first time rather than receive bail, meaning they can’t go home after just a few hours like usual.

Funnily enough, Just Stop Oil have since called off the motorway shutdown, because they now realise they’re being held in custody and not allowed to go home and do it all over again the next day. It may also have something to do with the threat of having no vegan meals available for them behind bars.

Essex Police chief Ben-Julian Harrington says (via MailOnline):

‘This is a serious offence with significant penalties. The danger and the disruption caused and their propensity to keep doing it means that people are being remanded in custody and I think that’s come as a shock.

The last couple of months we have come very close to running out of vegan ready meals.’

Too funny. Sound like something out of The Onion but as we’ve come to find in 2022, no news item is too ridiculous for real life. The question is what happens if Essex Police eventually do run out of vegan meals? Do they scramble for £1 ready meals from the supermarket? Just feed them beans on toast? Pull out some grass from the earth?

Or maybe the inconvenience of it all will be a good lesson to some of these activists themselves, and make them realise how they’re inconveniencing everyone else. Pulling stunts at museums and luxury stores is one thing, but shutting down major roads and destroying the lives of everyday people in the process? Too far I reckon.

For the Subway boss who taunted a vegan worker by waving meat at her and saying ‘eat like a man’, click HERE. Deep.