Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a vore fetish and want to eat you. Well, I personally don’t, but I’m sure this is how your Valentines card would read if your secret admirer got off on the thought of eating you, or if you were the one who gets hot under the collar over the thought of becoming someone’s meal.

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We’ve all heard the stories of that infamous cannibal dude who met a stranger in an online chatroom to eat them. The victim volunteered to have their dick chopped off, cooked and eaten alongside some brussel sprouts – of all things. Definitely a 0/10 meal deal if you ask me. We reckon that unless the poor devoured soul was off his rocker, he probably actually had a vore fetish.

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According to the Urban Dictionary, this is what voraphilia actually consists of:

Short for “voraphilia” or “vorarephilia”: a fetish in which one fantasises about being eaten alive or eating another creature alive (sometimes known as phagophilia). The most common type of vore is “soft vore”, being swallowed or swallowing whole with no bloodshed. There is also the less common “hard vore” which involves the tearing and chewing of flesh. Other types of vore include macrophilia and microphilia, in which one character involved in the vore is larger or smaller than normal.

Many might associate vore with cannibalism; however, most voraphiles do not favour cannibalism. Vore is an imaginary fetish; that is, it is impossible to perform in real life in the way most fantasise, unlike most cannibalism.

Also included with vore is sometimes the “furry” community: people who are interested in usually anthromorphic animals (humanised creatures). With animals as characters in vore fantasies, predation is natural and therefore somewhat more realistic.

Constantly hungry and horny as I am, I don’t really feel that kinky cannibalism is really for me. Perhaps I’ll try fantasising about stinging my genitals with a bee. Or you know, just stick to ordinary vanilla sex – seems a lot less risky.