I’m not sure how many people are currently aware of Channel 4’s prime time reality TV show of the moment ‘Scared Of The Dark’ but even though the concept is utterly stupid, it’s still providing us with quite a few classic news cycle moments.

Featured Image VIA

For those unaware, the show sees a bunch of celebrities – most notably Chris Eubank, Paul Gascoigne and ‘Love Island’s’ Chloe Burrows – hang out in some weird room for 180 hours in complete and utter darkness. I guess they probably have to do some tasks and what have you too, but one of the weirdest moments so far has come from Paul Gascoigne telling what he referred to as a ‘sexy story’.

Here’s what he had to say:

I once put an arm around Maggie Thatcher.

Oh, god almighty, I felt myself getting hard.

And I thought, ‘Quick, I better just release this’.

So I just quickly went to the toilet and just whacked one out.

Horny bit just come out of us and I wasn’t going to walk with a boner on so I just quickly….

Ewww. That’s kinda funny but also so gross right? Not just the fact that he went to the toilet and whacked one out – I imagine a lot of people have probably actually done that too – but more that he got so turned on by Margaret Thatcher? She’s not even slightly attractive?

Anyway, Chloe Burrows thought the story was hilarious but Chris Eubank didn’t find it so awesome, sorta belittling Gascoigne by saying the following:

It’s so unfortunate that it’s probably true.

OK, so let’s lift up the octave or the class. Let’s lift it up.

What you’ve done there, Paul, is that’s your pub talk, man. That’s not for here.

But then maybe I’m killing the party. Yeah, so do what you want. I’m very tired. I need to sleep.

Lol Chris Eubank is such a weirdo. Has he ever seen a reality TV show? Admittedly this is kind of different sure, but did he really expect to be having deeply philosophical chats during his time on the show?

Because if he did then he’s been living on a different planet for the past twenty years the first ‘Big Brother’ show. Everyone knows that it’s all trash down here and Chris might as well lean into it otherwise Gazza is gonna drive him crazy over the next few days.

Hopefully there are some more classic lines like that one but overall the whole vibe of the show seems to be incredibly boring and stupid. We’ll let you know.

For more of the same, check out Paul Gascoigne talking about his penis tattoo that turns into a tree when it’s hard. Chris Eubank really needs to have his head examined.