The Gift Bags Given Out To Oscars Nominees/Presenters Are Absolutely Insane

No biggie if you show up at the Oscars and don’t even win anything — you still get this $85,000 bag of gifts to take home with you, including the following:

1. DrainWig plug that prevents hair clogging the drain — $6.49
2. Fabric wrap from European company Wrag Wrap — $15
3. Organic pet shampoo from Simon’s Happy Pet — $15
4. Six-pack of Naked Luxury condoms — $20
5. Three-in-one dry-cleaning bags from Green Garmento — $23
6. Bluetooth camera shutter remote for Apple products from HISY — $24.99
7. AVIV 613 Vodka — $30
8. Herbal tea-based lollipops from Dosha Pops — $35
9. Hydroxycut weight loss gummies, protein bars, and shakes — $38.96
10. ‘Honey’ made from organic apples from Bee Free Honee — $39
11. Tea from Blossom Blends — $49.95
12. ‘Loaded: The Story of a Ghost’ graphic novel — $49.95
13. A DVD advertising cash off the services of aspiring film maker Charles Van Loucks — $50
14. Dinnerware from Slimware — $59
15. Cannonball Wines — $60
16. Caramels and sweets from Betty Jane Candies — $69.75
17. Candles that double as perfume and warm massage oil from Objects with Purpose — $70
18. Horse shampoo and conditioner made for human hair from Mane ‘N Tail — $95.35
19. Beauty products from M3K Beauty — $100
20. Organic makeup products by Diane Capt — $105
21. Activity tracker from Polar Loop — $109.95
22. Go Pro hair dryer from Coolway — $120
23. Two Mace pepper guns — $120
24. Accessories from CherryT Knit & Co. $158
25. Hookahzz E-Cigarettes and E-Liquids — $162
26. Shellfish knife set — $185
27. Leather iPhone 5 case from Vetvik — $230
28. Leather purse from Jitseu. A $279
29. Portable camera and app from Narrative Clip — $279
30. Organic maple syrup from Rouge Maple — $280
31. Swiss-made Slow Watch — $290
32. Organic skin, body, and hair products from Acure — $300
33. Jan Lewis bangle bracelet made from wood shapes — $400
34. House call with acupuncturist and nutritionist Heather Lounsbury — $500
35. Lifetime membership to a meditation gym from Headspace.com — $500
36. Tickets to all-kid pro Cirque troupe, Le Petit Cirque — $575
37. Max Martin luxury shoes — $750
38. 10 personal training sessions with Huntley Drive Fitness — $850
39. Supplies from Epic Pet Health — $1,571.98
40. Five-night stay at the Koloa Landing Resort in Hawaii — $2,000
41. Home spa system from Steamist — $2560
42. ‘O-Shot’ procedure to help a woman’s sex drive — $2,700
43. Resort stay at the Imanta’s Ocean Casa suite in Mexico — $3,300
44. Water filtration system from Krystal Klear Water — $4895
45. Artworks from Gizara — $5,000
46. 10,000 meal donations from Ellen DeGeneres’ Halo Spot’s Stew pet food to a shelter of the nominee’s choice — $6,100
47. Two-day Rocky Mountaineer train excursion from Vancouver to Alberta in the Canadian Rockies — $6,850
48. Trip to Las Vegas including tickets to shows, backstage passes to meet Meatloaf and Boyz II Men and two nights at the Riviera Penthouse Suite — $9,000
49. Walking tour around Japan from Walk Japan — $15,000

Ahh, millionaires getting things for free. It’s beautiful isn’t it? The $50 toward hiring film maker Charles Van Loucks is especially a nice touch. Never heard of him or his movies but I’m sure they’ll be lining up.

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