If you’re under the care of a medical staff member, you’d hope that a level of professionalism would be upheld at all times to ensure their patients are not uncomfortable or humiliated. You’d hope, anyway.

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This was definitely not the case for an OAP who was staying at the Cwmgelli Lodge Care Home in Blackwood, south Wales.

The nurse looking after the unnamed patient, William Kennedy, decided to break all the rules in a bid to try and make his colleagues laugh. How? By using her vagina as a ventriloquist’s dummy. Needless to say, they didn’t see the funny side, and William’s actions have since been examined by a tribunal.

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The Nursing and Midwifery Council (NMC) heard how he “pulled the patient’s labia apart and said: ‘Hello, my name is Patient A'” as he examined the care home resident.

Although William claimed the “socially awkward situation” had been blown out of proportion and that he hadn’t taken his medication that day, he’s since been convicted of ill-treating the woman and given a community order.

Unbelievably, he’s still being allowed to work, although he’s banned from carrying out any intimate examinations or clinical procedures (damn straight) and is not allowed to take charge of any shift.

Panel chairman Philip Sayce said:

There were concerns raised about the level of Mr Kennedy’s insight regarding his conviction when discussing the incident with his probation officer.

In addition there was a concern about whether or not he had fully disclosed the details of his conviction when seeking employment with a previous employer.

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So if you happen to have loved ones in a care home over in south Wales, perhaps check if a guy called William Kennedy is in charge of your gran. He’s probably learned his lesson, but you don’t want to risk the humiliation of her genitals being the centre of a ventriloquist’s act.

For more inappropriate nurses, here’s one flashing her ass and boobs while a doctor stitches up a patient.