Other advancements in Japanese khazi gadgets that are currently being tested include an incredible new sensor that can detect which way you are facing. So if you’re facing towards the toilet, the seat and the lid lift up, if you are facing away, just the lid lifts up. Impressive, no? They’re also working on ways for the toilet to measure blood sugar, body fat, pulse rate and blood pressure. The option of sending the diagnostics directly to your GP is also going to be on the cards. Epic toilet tech.

This is one of the classier toilet models in a toilet showroom. The weird tube sticking out the bowl with a ball on the top is to demonstrate the power of the spray apparently. You don’t have to keep the pipe on once you’ve purchased. That would be uncomfortable.

The last little nugget of toilet wizardry that I’ll leave you with is called the “Sound Princess” (pictured above). This device was invented to save the shame of the delicate Japanese ladies. Females have long hated the idea of being heard relieving themselves so in times past they’ve simply let the loo flush constantly whilst they are in full stream. The government realised that this was wasting a hideous amount of water. So they invented the Sound Princess which can be activated at the touch of a button to produce the sound of a toilet flushing without wasting a drop. They reckon it saves 20 litres per use. Weird but great.

And so ends this discussion on the mighty and pervasive toilet. Thanks for joining me on this scintillating sewer story. If there’s any “boring” topic you’d like me to cover, please get in touch via @timboynewtron.

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