So just in case you thought there wasn’t any logic in these strict hairstyle guidelines, the top scientists in North Korea have concluded after much research and deliberation that long hair robs the brain of energy; Yes that’s right folks, your long hair diverts much needed energy away from your brain where it could be used for more important things like actually THINKING FOR YOURSELF, but of course the North Korean government doesn’t want you to do that. To be fair, most North Koreans probably realize it’s a load of bullshit and that Kim Jong-un is Satan’s little helper, but there doesn’t seem to be much they can do about it unless they fancy a few years doing hard manual labour as a punishment for rebelling against his holiness.

So which style would you chirpsers go for? I can’t help but think that the mini-afro for guys is the way forward. Also, I wonder what the guidelines are for bald people? In fact, come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bald North Korean anywhere; maybe the guidelines for being bald include a painful premature death or something, who knows.

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