It’s 7:30am. I’m still awake. I’m listening to Napalm Death. There’s no need for you to know this.

– morgan roberts (@morganrabbits) March 20, 2013

Well, aren’t I a grouchy kitten this morning?

With any luck the Hot ‘n’ Spicy Birdseye Chicken thing I’ve got cooking will silence my whinging when it’s done. In the mean time, as unnecessarily stated to my minimal Twitter followers above, I am sat in bed listening to Napalm Death writing this article. The birds are singing, the sun is starting to shine, my exact next door room neighbour has just finished playing Fifa, the rest of the flat are asleep or soon to be waking up — by the time you read this none of these facts will be true, but then again they might.

☛ Insomnia? : Insomnia By Faithless Featuring Awesome Spoon Playing

Anyway, I’m digressing to fill word count and time until my chicken is done. The point of this article, besides the previous, and an incessant avoidance of starting an essay I have done none of the required reading for that is due today or tomorrow depending on when you read this, or yesterday, or never, insert other first-world-university-student-scumbag gripe here, the point of this post is that Napalm Death have been deemed simply too heavy for artwork and Victorian buildings.

For those who were concerned — I have my chicken now. A bit of mayonnaise spread across the top as an added bonus. Budget excellence.

So, how come Napalm Death were deemed too heavy for structural integrity of not just a Victorian building but the artwork inside? Besides the glaringly obvious being the general racket they make so well. Which I guess sort of summarises the post and the point of this story, so yeah, that but more specifically…

Recently the resident ceramicist of the Victoria and Albert Museum, more commonly known as the V&A, Keith Harrison besides clearly blagging a made up, and oh so cushy, job title was intending to create a unique, live ceramic installation within the museum as a complete one off event. The unique installation in question was intended to be an active speaker system that would be filled with liquid clay. This speaker system would then be played through by a live band forcing the clay within it to crack and fragment as the sound of said band reverberated through it and the speaker system. Thus you have one unique, and live, ceramic installation.

☛ Deathcore & Music Video = The Best Music Video I Have Ever Seen (NSFW)

Another update — I’ve eaten my chicken now; it was delicious, much better mood.

The live band planned to take part in this event was, as mentioned, Napalm Death who were selected with the intention that their bass heavy sound would hit the right frequency to get the best out of the breaking clay. If bass was key, why not get SunnO))) to play or Sleep? I suppose another key factor is that Napalm Death have always thrashed fast, and what better music to smash shit too, artistically or not, than grindcore?

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIRUzqHTNh8′]

Unfortunately though, as the title of this post gave away the event had to be cancelled after a safety inspection undertaken by the museum raised considerable concerns over whether the building could really take such a session. It seems what with the V&A knocking on a bit now an event of such volume could cause drastic damage to the building itself, not to mention the delicate and aged artwork contained. Napalm Death were just too heavy for Victoria and Albert, the old codgers.

☛ Also Unlikely To Play V&A : Skream Got Wasted During SXSW & Threw A CDJ-2000 Into The Crowd

It’s a shame really as this sounds like it would’ve been a pretty cool installation to witness live or via recording, given its one-offness, and a great crossover between high-end art types and angry, angry men. So in closing, what I did with this article was tell you about a cool thing that might’ve have happened but didn’t. And ate chicken. G’night everybody, or good morning.

It’s 8:30am. I listened to Napalm Death. I ate chicken. There was no need for you to know this.