There’s no beating around the bush that everyone masturbates – probably even more so now that everyone is working from home – but I don’t think that there’s ever a good reason to be doing this naked outside and especially not in front of a chicken shop in the middle of the day either.

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However, this has been the scene recently in Florida not once, but twice after 38 year old Vanessa Lee Jones was picked up for masturbating in front of Popeye’s Fried Chicken in St Petersburg twice in the same month. Even more bizarrely, police said that there was no sign of drug or alcohol abuse and that there was also no evidence of underlying mental health issues either – seems like she just wanted to get naked and jerk off over that sweet fried chicken?!

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Jones was first arrested on September 30th after she was spotted rubbing her vagina in front of a small child at 11am in front of the Popeye’s. She was held in prison for her actions until October 28th after the uncle of the minor produced video evidence of what she was getting up to to the police. Bet that’s not all he did with that footage though hey?

Anyway, seems like Jones didn’t learn her lesson though and is now being held on the charge of exposure of sexual organs, which could lead to a 15 year jail sentence and $10,000 fine. In fairness, if she’s walking around totally naked and masturbating less than a week after getting let out of jail for the same offence and isn’t drunk/fucked up/mentally ill then she probably does need something like a long jail sentence to stop her from reoffending. Crazy what they get up to down in Florida hey? All the best to Jones in her rehabilitation.

For more of the same, check out this Florida man who claimed that too much music and masturbation caused him to destroy his house. Can relate.