In other ridiculous news, blonde mongrel Paris Hilton still believes people actually care who she is and what she does. For the hundredth time she is trying to start a music career, she’s like an old piece of chewing gum that has been stuck on your trainer for days but you’ve only just noticed it’s there. Pretty much impossible to get off without using sharp instruments, a blow torch, Thor’s hammer, a lightsaber, a Tommy gun and Air wolf. Surely that will do her.

The song is called ‘Drunk Text’ and it surfaced on the internet for a short while and then disappeared; apparently it was leaked accidentally by the producers of the song. I’m hoping it was leaked on purpose to show how a person can constantly make a fool out of herself with everything she does. You’ll understand this when you listen to the song for the short time you can tolerate it. She talks about ‘sexting’ over a monotonous Guetta styled dance beat with Dylan-esque lyrics like “It was just a drunk text, this is the last time I’ll ever drink and text”. No doubt Paris will be up for best international female at the Brits next year. You can check out the video right HERE on Sick Chirpse if you missed it last week.

So that was what happened in the music world this week. If you have any ideas of Limp Bizkit name changes, numbers for real life bounty hunters or potential career opportunities for Miss Hilton, please leave them below.

Thanks.