We like to keep it in the family at Sick Chirpse. Not in the Josef Fritzl way as we can’t really afford to build a hidden lair underneath our houses/flats to keep our secret, vitamin D-malnourised, incestual family at bay from the mewing paparazzi and, to be fair, we can’t really be arsed with all that as it’ll more than likely take up far too much time and effort and money when we could be spending those seeds of our soul on getting high and no-one on our families is really that much attractive that we’d wanna give them one, apart from ourselves obviously. Most of us live in second or top-floor flats, as well, so a hidden lair underneath our flats would be a really big effort that would never get done.
☛ Fritzl’s Buddies: Top Five Incestuous Crimes
Nah, we like to keep it in the family in a different way. A better way. A way that benefits the Sick Chirpse family members so we can all get famous and naked and die of alcohol poisoning before we’re 35. In other words, we like to show you all that we’re not just about piss-taking and tits and writing about the crazies that inhabit Russia and showing you videos that up the ante in the YouTube procrastination department.
So, here it is. An example that we’re not just about bashing up our chirpse all day long and rolling up till our fingers bleed. We all do different things in our spare time and here are some examples. I like to grow huge vegetables that are fluent in French, Morgan Rabbits likes to collect limited edition cans of Special VAT, Brodi Snook likes to be called a girl and, this is the point where this article really starts, Lazer Horse likes to play the drums in a band called Anacondas.
☛ More Snakes: Snake That Looks Like A Giant Penis Discovered In Brazil
Anacondas are a product of Brighton, which is apparently full of sludge-loving hippies with putrid, pink dreadlocks. Anacondas play a genre of music that verges somewhere between sludge, stoner, hardcore and shoegaze – which is what all of us should drive along to as the end of the world nears with every North Korean missile tweak. The band is made up of Mr. Timothy Newman (Lazer Horse): drums, Mr. James Hunter: bass, and Mr. Stuart Hunter: guitar. The eloquently-named Sub Contra Blues is their debut album, an 8-track beast that just makes you wanna crawl into a deep, dark cave that stinks of piss and burn caterpillars and moths over the shit-ridden fire – the only thing keeping you warm (apart from your wet dreams).
The album begins with You Set The Moon On Fire. Erupting drums, a winding and hacking guitar alongside a barking and snapping bassline really sets the tone for the rest of the album. The main vocals are pitiless and passionate, especially the addictive lyric of ‘Come to me my valentine‘ which can be found early on in the track. I listened to the album yesterday as well and this lyrical-line still won’t leave my head, alongside the regretful haze from Saturday night. But this track is better than my Saturday night and it really lets you know what you’re in for. Dark, complex, slow-burning music fused with insightful and addictive lyrics. Good stuff.
The fourth track is Siminaimal and the intro really brings to mind the antics of Kylesa and Electric Wizard and High On Fire. All favourites of mine so, as you can imagine, my ears were and still are making sex to this track. Once the initial chugging ambience dies off, a lovely little section of high-end guitar and a build-up of cymbals and skins wanders in and when these are paired alongside the pretty melodic vocals, a new part of the maze makes itself known and the track descends into a heavy, stormy, ethereal-sounding section which you can’t help but nod along to and light another fat one and lie back and pretend you’re some sort of swamp-troll preparing for battle.
☛ More Battles: Spider vs Wasp: Battle To The Death, Gladiator Style
High Horse opens up with plenty of pinches and an almost-math sounding guitar but this is evened out by the constant and sweat-grinding drums of Mr. Newman which is further creamed up by the use of frenetic, screamed vocals and more melodic, sung vocals. This guitar grooves its way through the track with some lovely heaves and chugs and melodic twists and it’s probably the closest we get to hearing Anacondas letting loose on their more ‘commercial-metal’ side but this isn’t a bad thing as after all the heavy, knee-cracking and neck-aching mosh from the tracks before, a change in our 8 courses is welcomed.
The album ends with This Night Will Last Forever, a track nearing to 9 minutes long. The longer the track, the better for me, and so this one goes as well. It’s a kaleidoscope of an ambient and ferocious and melodic and evil sounding guitar; a deep, staccato, wandering, hungry bass; precise, fast and tall, monstrous drums; and a lovely combination of angry, harsh vocals and lovely, laid-back, penetrative vocals.
☛ More Bands: Gnarwolves Interview
If you’re a fan of bands like Black Tusk, Torche, Slabdragger, Conan, and anything raw and heavy as fuck, then Anacondas will definitely be right up your street. If you’re not a fan of the above bands, what are you doing here?
You can find Anacondas on Twitter, Facebook and the album is on Bandcamp.
