More than 100 confirmed or suspected cases of monkeypox have been reported in 12 countries now, and it turns out that Patient Zero was doing some shagging at a rave in Europe.

According to a leading adviser with the World Health Organization, the leading theory to explain the recent spread of the disease was sexual transmission among bisexual men at two raves in Spain and Belgium. Dr. David Heymann told The Associated Press:

We know monkeypox can spread when there is close contact with the lesions of someone who is infected, and it looks like sexual contact has now amplified that transmission.

In case you didn’t know, monkeypox is f***ing horrific:

Monkeypox typically causes fever, chills, rash, and lesions on the face or genitals. It can be spread through close contact with an infected person or their clothing or bedsheets. Most people recover from the disease within several weeks without requiring hospitalisation. Vaccines against smallpox, a related disease, are also effective in preventing monkeypox and some antiviral drugs are being developed.

Apparently giant pus-filled lesions weren’t off-putting enough for some party-goers at these raves in Spain and Belgium, and now we’ve got a monkeypox pandemic incoming. Well, I jest – but who knows? Anything is possible after the f***ery that was 2020 and 2021.

In order to prevent the WHO or whoever decides these things from shutting us all down again, they probably need to nip this one in the bud ASAP. After all summer’s just getting started and there’s gonna be a lot more shagging going down at a lot more raves. How do we convince these party animals to not have sex with strangers in the summer? Just think of those long weeks of lockdown where there wasn’t any football to keep us entertained and all the Netflix shows stopped filming – we don’t wanna go back there, do we?

To read about the NHS worker jailed for 3 years after being found with 9g of coke at Creamfields, click HERE. Bit harsh?