You’d think winning £33 million on the Lottery and making it last a lifetime would be a relatively easy feat — but that would be underestimating some people’s stupidity.

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Probably the most famous Lottery cock-up story out there involves self-proclaimed ‘King of Chavs’ Mickey Carroll, who won £9.7 million on the Lotto when he was 19 and spunked it all on coke, gambling and prostitutes. Read all about that HERE.

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Michael now earns £400 a week working in a slaughterhouse, but still plays the Lottery every week. I’m not sure I’d be able to do that without dying inside a little bit every time my numbers didn’t come up.

Regardless, Michael came through with some advice for the latest UK lottery winners – David and Carol Martin – who, to be fair, won considerably more than he did back in 2002 but might want to take this into consideration anyway.

Michael says:

This couple have said their daughter lives in Australia. My advice would be for them to emigrate there and start a new life.

They won’t be able to live a normal life in Hawick.

Family and friends will come out of the woodwork wanting their money and they will find themselves surrounded by lots of fake people.

I gave £4million to family and friends – but some people wanted more and weren’t happy. Others who didn’t get anything stopped talking to me. I received hundreds of thousands of begging letters from strangers too.

He added:

The kind of money this couple have won is kidnapping money. I only had £9million. They have got three times as much as me.

And there really are some people who will see it as a way of making money.

Things went wrong straight away. I got my first death threat the day after I won and I’ve had thousands ever since. One said they’d chop my daughter up and send her back to me piece by piece.

One was sending pictures of my whole family and details of where they lived. I was really worried. I began sleeping with a shotgun and I kept a blade in every room of my house.

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Cheers for that Mikey but I reckon they’ve probably got it under control. They don’t really seem the sort who’d blow £33 million on coke and hookers and leave themselves with sweet F-all at the end of it. Who knows though – money can do strange things to people.

Either way, no doubt their daughter’s ex-boyfriend (who got ripped mercilessly on Facebook last week) will be hoping he gets some sympathy cash.