One of my childhood best friends once told me a tale of how his older brother had to get an unwanted circumcision after a mosquito bit him on the tip of his penis. For some reason whilst watching the manuka honey episode of ‘Food Unwrapped’ on Channel 4 (don’t ask, it was mostly for background noise I swear) my brain took a sour turn and began to wonder whether there are people out there that would purposely sting themselves with bees on their own genitalia for sexual pleasure.

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It makes sense in a way – there are plenty of kinksters out there who get off on various forms of pain. There are also a whole bunch of freaks who get aroused over animals. ‘Bee Movie’ also exists. Put the lot together and you have a recipe for a fetish.

Back in the olden days there would be no way to finding out if such a thing actually happens without asking the people around you and unless you’re a total weirdo, you’d probably be too embarrassed to ask questions about it. Unfortunately for me, the internet exists. Also unfortunately for me, as does a video named “dude stings his dick with a wasp.”

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In my defence, I’m not the sort of person who actually gets all hot and bothered over people inserting entire wasps into their urethra but my idiot mind was intrigued. Even if I wanted to, my wasp sting allergy wouldn’t allow it. At this point I couldn’t just close my laptop lid and go to bed, I needed to find out why people were doing this to themselves and how far this strange infatuation goes.

After a bit more Googling I came across something interesting. Back in 2013 there was a rumour going round about a Swedish man named Hasse who died after having sex with a hornet’s nest. Apparently a neighbour had found him unconscious and covered in stings all over his body that had become inflamed. Although the tale turned out to be a hoax and could be traced back to a satirical website, many animal rights activists were genuinely concerned over the wellbeing of the hornets and obviously didn’t think it was that farfetched a story.

Formicophilia “is the sexual interest in being crawled upon or nibbled by insects such as ants.” People are literally getting the horn over putting ants in their pants. A few clicks more led me to the word melissophilia. This does not mean the love of women named Melissa, but instead translates to “the sexual arousal by bee stings.”

After bravely exploring a couple of the porn sites under the “bee sting” search, it became apparent that the poor guy inserting a single wasp up his cockend wasn’t alone. Before my eyes were a whole swarm (lol) of sting related sex videos including: ‘Wasp sting Clit,’ ‘Wasps Inserted And Stinging Penis’ and ‘Bee Fucker.’ To my surprise there was also something similar about nettle play.

Before you go around blaming bee fornication on new fangled technology or stress in the workplace, you should take a look in the book of Kamasutra. For the less endowed amongst us, the ancient writings advise to “take shuka hairs – the shuka is an insect that lives in trees – mix with oil and rub on the penis for ten nights. When a swelling appears sleep face downwards on a wooden bed, letting one’s sex hang through a hole.”

By shuka, they mean wasp. In theory I could see how this could work. Due to my aforementioned allergy the last time an angry striped bastard caught me unawares with its stinger, my hand and the surrounding areas grew to three times the size. Supposedly this could work on your pork sword but please do not try this at home under any circumstances.

We’ll potentially never know what goes on inside the mind of someone who stings themselves with insects unless all you secret mellissophiles come out of the closet, if you are this way inclined then please get in touch so we can ask you a load of burning questions that the world wide web just can’t answer. We can only assume that it’s similar to that of any other pain influenced fetishes.

If you thought this was weird then maybe you should check out this woman who literally gets aroused from feeding off her boyfriend’s fresh blood. Yuck.