Some guy in Cambridge, Massachusetts, recently decided that he felt like having what can only be described as a christian themed danger-wank. He reportedly sneaked into the church via an open side door, wearing a priests robe obviously, and then proceeded to pace up and down the aisle for almost an hour before approaching the altar and going to town on himself. The whole thing was caught on CCTV, and the entire community is now on high alert, watching out for rogue pleasure seekers who may attempt to repeat the crime.

Alexander Pogorzelski, president of the church board, had this to say about the scandal:

There’s a strong sense of violation throughout the community. It has an emotional effect on everybody. It’s upsetting, distressing and you’re just confused as to why somebody would do this.

Am I the only one who feels that this was bound to happen at some point? Hopefully next time, this guy will target the Wesboro Baptist Church instead.

Unfortunately there’s no video to this one, but you can check out our look at our WANK documentary below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1pBPi1ADtpk