I’ll never understand the logic of unsolicited dick pics, given a) it never works b) it’s now a crime and c) it’ll backfire in your face every time these days, as a guy on Instagram named Coke Can Greg (great name) found out recently.
Greg sent the following DM to pro poker player Melissa Schubert, completely out of the blue:
Just an absolutely outrageous angle to take a dxck pic from, ensuring he gets his man-boob, belly button, and hairy bumhole in there as well. Naturally, Melissa was horrified, but kept her sense of humour about the whole thing by sharing the image on her IG alongside a caption reading ”Greg, bestie, I’m going to have to charge you a service fee for sending me this atrocity’.
You’d think that was a fair response and Greg would just leave it at that. But nope – he got seriously upset that Melissa would have the audacity to make his unsolicited dxck pic public. He shot her another DM:
When Melissa refused to do so, Coke Can Greg went into full-on victim mode, pointing out that he specifically and ‘politely’ asked her to delete the story and not continue sharing his DMs with the world. Melissa’s response was more than adequate:
Realising that he was getting nowhere with Melissa, Greg hatched a new plan: DMing her friends to see if anyone would be willing to dish out any dirt on her, or give him the names of her employers. That didn’t go too well either:
In the end, Coke Can Greg ended up DMing another poker pro, Danielle Andersen, somehow believing that she was Melissa’s employer at a hotel (she isn’t and has never even met her). Danielle ended up trolling the absolute shxt out of him – it’s a long exchange but really worth taking the time to read:
Too funny. The way she convinced him that she was taking his complaint seriously and was involving HR and the police was just grade A stuff. The best part about it? Melissa and Danielle ended up becoming BFFs:
— Melissa Schubert (@poodawgmelissa) January 17, 2023
Quality. As for Coke Can Greg, he’s since gone private on Instagram. Let’s hope he’s learnt his lesson and that any other would-be cyberflashers have too.
To watch a grown man get attacked by a group of teenagers after he sent an unsolicited dick pic to their 16-year-old friend, click HERE.
