Just when you thought that lockdown couldn’t get any weirder, here’s a story about some old guy that liked walking around in public and stroking a courgette. There’s no way that’s going to be interpreted badly, is there?

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66 year old Geoffrey Chambers would walk around Hereford with the courgette stuffed down his tight leggings and then make eye contact with women as he stroked it. One woman was so disgusted by what she saw that she had to go home with her teenage daughter, another was the wife of a police officer who called for backup and arrested the guy. After his arrest, police found a whole heap of courgettes in Chambers’ car that he was saving for later. Not really sure what to say about that – why did he need so many?

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During his trial, his defence lawyer claimed that he was doing it for a joke and that it would ‘help him out of a low mood’, but the fact that he had already been warned about such behaviour in Swansea and Cardiff counted against him and he was jailed for eight months. He had only recently been released from jail for two attempted child sex offences and had been arrested for indecent exposure 31 times.

I guess using a courgette was his way of trying to get around this, but clearly it hasn’t worked out for him and he’s back where he belongs. Hopefully he gets some psychological counselling in there because he clearly isn’t well, but that’s probably asking a bit too much from our prison service isn’t it?

For more of the same, check out this video of Gillian Anderson jerking off a courgette. Nice.