A man over in Scotland was arrested after being charged with sexually assaulting his own mother.

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24-year-old Ian McCourt from Glasgow apparently fingered his own mum following what was described as a massive Buckfast binge.

The court heard that Ian struggled with his alcohol problem, particularly on the weekends, and that this was a “mitigating circumstance.”

Throughout the trial Ian maintained that he didn’t know it was his Mum at the time of the fingering and that he thought it was:

This wee dirty yoke from down the road who lets you have a shot of her if you ply her with coke.

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Reports claim that Ian had been drinking Buckfast for three days at various after parties following a night on the town.

When he got home, he began fingering his mum, Doris, who woke up and then immediately called the police. The judge dismissed Ian’s excuses and he was sentenced to seven years in prison.

Of course, this story is likely just utter bullshit, but I’m sure you’ll agree with me that it’s a funny one, truth or not. If it is, good luck to Ian and Doris and hopefully they can get past this traumatising experience.

For more ridiculous stories, read about the guy who grew tits after drinking too much soy milk.