There’s something to be said about the bizarre perverse pleasure of a dangerwank, but most of us this is limited to calling your parents or girlfriend/boyfriend into the room just before you finish and trying to hide your orgasm – the guy in this video is about a hundred levels above that though.

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I’ve got absolutely no context for this one but it seems to be filmed on the CCTV cameras of a supermarket somewhere, as some weird dude takes a shining to the woman on the front of a magazine and decides to crack one out there and then in what can only be described as the ultimate dangerwank. Obviously this video is showing a guy jerking off to climax, so if you’re not into disturbing soft porn then I suggest you don’t watch it:

I used to love the beano but nowhere near this much pic.twitter.com/Qsra44T1EG

— Liam Whelan (@liam11) September 18, 2019

Well that was one of the quickest and most furious wanks of all time wasn’t it? Pretty impressed with his ability to crack one out so fast, but completely unimpressed by his decision to do it in the supermarket.

The way he wipes it on the magazine afterwards is just an all out grim creep out as well – imagine if you picked it up and found some guy’s jazz all over it? Completely rank and I hope he receives some kind of punishment for his actions because even though we’ve all had a laugh at the video, it just isn’t on really is it? No.

For more of the same, check out this story about a guy having a three hour wank on a Megabus. No mate.