Matthew Sheekey had one hell of a night last month.

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Things all kicked off when the man, described in the media as a ‘rampaging yob’, downed 11 bottles of wine in one sitting. The rest is probably a blur for him, but luckily police reports can fill in the blanks.

They arrived on the scene in response to a call reporting a disturbance, only to be greeted by the raging 28 year old. The crown told of how he:

…gave (the police) quite a lot of verbal abuse and used a lot of foul language.

The man then set fire to a pillow and launched the ball of flaming duck feathers out of his window at the police. As if that wasn’t enough, he leapt out of the window after it whilst proclaiming:

I’m going to come down and rip his head off.

Obviously the officers weren’t too happy about that, so they tasered him and hit him with some CS spray. The prosecution said that they had been:

…very concerned about their safety.

Somehow though, whether it was the multiple litres of wine pulsing through his blood, or his sheer badass attitude – Sheekey was still standing. He managed to kick the bonnet off of a police car before they finally subdued him.

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Luckily for the ‘yob’ he’s escaped prison, claiming that his emotions and copious volumes of rosé got the better of him:

On the night in question he had drank copious amounts of alcohol.

He felt so low at the time.

He says drinking has become more and more of a problem for him.

Judge Walker still reckons that he’s a nut job though, describing him as:

…out of his tree.

Not quite, mate. Out of his window would be more accurate. He slapped him with a community order, ordering him to also pay £250 compensation to Cleveland Police.

In all fairness, I don’t think this is even a 5 on the scale of intoxicated fuck ups. It certainly doesn’t come close to the guy that stabbed his mum and cut off his own dick, anyway.