With perhaps my biggest gripe with the average LADS football conversation dealt with, the last thing I’m going to mention is just a minor observation of something that I find pretty funny about these little chats, and that’s the fact that they are always EXCLUSIVELY about football. No other topic of conversation is even considered when these two guys talk. There’s always a formal “Alright mate” or something and then without exception one of them will lead into a conversation about football with a comment like “Good result on Saturday” and then they’re off. And its not just these two guys; in my office alone I can think of about 10 operating couples of ‘Football Lads’ who literally discuss nothing whatsoever apart from football. In fact another conversation has just started behind my right shoulder AS WE SPEAK! It’s insane! I’m pretty sure these couples of guys know absolutely nothing about each other apart from their first names and what teams they support. In fact I’d be willing to wager that the guy I used to sit next to knows more about how his ‘football buddy’ feels about Man United’s defence than he does about his entire personal life put together, including whether or not he has a wife or how many kids he has. It really cracks me up how utterly superficial the whole thing is. But heck, maybe that’s why it annoys me so much. Maybe it’s all a deep-seated personal response to hidden feelings of jealousy, stemming from the fact that I don’t know enough about football to hold a 15 minute long conversation with another LAD. Maybe that means I’m not a man? There’s nothing quite like the look of utter disappointment you see on another dude’s face when you get stuck in an awkward situation (let’s say he’s your girlfriends brother and she’s just left the room for a second or something) and he goes “So, who do you support?”, hoping for that quick-fix non-committal conversation and all you can respond with is “Oh, uh, I don’t really like football.” Honestly, its like you’d just admitted to being a rapist or something…..pure unbridled disgust. So maybe it’s me that’s missing out on all this, who knows….either way I find the whole thing fascinating.
