Of course, as with anything that happens these days a Twitter account has been set up to mark the occasion. So if you want you can follow it for a day or two, then unfollow it like the rest of the world probably will. I had a look at it and it’s not very funny I’m afraid. It says things like “Just prepping myself for another big day. Going shopping later in Tunbridge Wells so need to look my best. Hope the traffic isn’t too bad.” That sort of tripe.

Experts are saying that this is a youngster so 40mph is probably its max speed, but if this bad boy survives out there into adulthood we can expect to see it cruising at 60mph. Here’s that photo:

Apparently he’s been on the run since December so the chances of him surviving out there are pretty good, he’s obviously eating. Ostrich have been farmed in this country since the 80s so the climate doesn’t bother them. I guess as long as he avoids cars he should be OK. His survival chances are raised thanks to the fact that Ostrich will eat pretty much anything they can get their beaks into. Even metal objects, which isn’t exactly the healthiest option, although it is low in calories.

One bird was reported to have died after eating 2.5 metres of barbed wire?! Ostrich autopsies have revealed hinges, mower blades and solidified molten aluminium from an old fire in their gizzards. So they’re not the cleverest of all the birdies that’s for sure.

The obvious answer to this riddle is that the little guy has escaped from an ostrich farm, but from my half-arsed search of the British Domesticated Ostrich Association’s website I can’t find any in the local area. The nearest is in Rutland which would be a two-hour sprint for an adult ostrich. So who knows?

I’ll end this by wishing good luck to our new avian resident: Good luck Ozzy.

☛ Up Next: Dirds — Pictures Of Birds With Dogs’ Heads