Kagu – An Internet Voyage Through Strangeness

I decided to write an article today about strange birds. I’m a bit of a twitcher if I’m honest. Don’t worry, I’ll understand if I’ve dropped in your estimations with that confession, but I can’t help it. I enjoy watching our feathered friends go about their business.

Anyway, you’ll be glad to know that isn’t what I ended up writing. I started my search for strange birds with the kagu, he’s a good looking bird with a jazzy haircut that lives in New Caledonia. It lives permanently on the ground. It has got wings but its chest muscles are so rubbish it has to walk everywhere.

I found a video of him, but it was a bit boring. So I just scrolled down the Youtube results from my “kagu” search and what I found was way more interesting. So if this article seems pointless and meandering you would be right. But there’s nothing wrong with having no point, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with meandering.

First I’ll show you a video of that lovely little birdie for those closet Bill Oddies out there. It’s actually pretty weird, some guy is showing the bird a car wing mirror for some reason and the Kagu is just like “yeah wotevs”. Not sure what the point of it is.

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvdHkgsZRYQ’]

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So that video isn’t much to write about. But I looked down a couple of places in the search list and was confronted with some band called Polyphon who released a song called Kagu at some point in the 70’s. I’m guessing they are north European, but I really can’t find much on the internet about them at all, other than the fact that they renamed themselves Consilium at some point. All I know is that the aging vocalist in a bad wig is actually Frank Butcher in his best PJ’s. It has to be. This film is taken at a reunion tour in 2005 I think. Try and watch this without a gaping jaw when you realise this is actually serious:

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6__sX2hg2Y’]

Here’s a picture of the vocalist Oleg Solg for you to look at and enjoy. It looks like he might still be going but I’m buggered if I can find any information about exactly WTF is going on.

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It was after watching Polyphon that I realised I had to keep searching for Kagu. What other wonders would it throw my way? I was moist with excitement. My sweaty index finger caressed the roller on my mouse as I eagerly awaited the next ripper of a video.

I wasn’t disappointed. This next video is just as weird as Polyphon, but this time a little creepy and disturbing too. Again, I don’t know what’s going on exactly but it seems like some kind of ritual, witch craft, dance routine or something. The video is titled “Kagu-Eesti tantsupidu – Revolutsioon” so I banged that in to Google translate and apparently it’s the “South-Estonian Dance Festival – The Revolution“.

It starts with people all stood facing away from the camera with some confused looking guy in the middle of the screen looking the wrong way, I think it might be Frank Butcher again but without the wig. He didn’t get the memo about what outfit to wear either. I’ve watched this a few times now. I love it. Whatever it is. When the chilled beat kicks in at 1:20 I am rushing.

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q40Q_64osR0′]

It turns out Kagu is also a Japanese cartoon character or some shit. Here’s her chilled out little theme tune for you to get busy to:

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPjDBHvKPws’]

…..also Kagu is an awesome juggler who’s from the Czech Republic and only 15 young years of age. Here he is juggling with an orchestra? Yeah. He’s accompanying an orchestra with his balls. Who thinks these things up? I know it’s not me that’s for sure.

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39yfbHLTmoU’]

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As I delved deeper I hit upon a Japanese actress (I think) called Megumi Kagurazaka. It’s a video accompanying a terrible song. The video is hilarious though. She just puts suntan lotion on throughout the whole thing. She does nothing else, just sparingly applies the lotion. Not even in a particularly sexual way. She’s just rubbing it in to avoid skin cancer like a good girl. No finger licking, nothing.

[yframe url=’http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r28HhGzRFXg’]

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So it just goes to show how far you can be dragged by the ebb and flow of the interwab. Thank you for sharing my journey.

PS Kagu is also Japanese for furniture.