If there’s been one benefit of the global Coronavirus pandemic, it’s that it’s distracted us from the fact that the UK government hasn’t really managed to get anywhere over the course of the year in terms of a Brexit deal before we reach the end of the transition period on December 31st. I guess that’s a good thing because we can be all doom and gloom about COVID-19 rather than the disaster of a no deal withdrawal, right?

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Thankfully though The Daily Mail – who I’m pretty sure were massively pro Brexit – have decided to share the chart above explaining to us all the different types of crappy food we’ll be eating once we’re fully out of the European Union and won’t be able to import any of it because we couldn’t agree a trade deal with them. As you can see, it’s incredibly depressing and means that our diet is literally going to be the most beige of all time following our full exit from the EU.

Here’s an example of one of the dishes we can expect to be consuming daily come January:

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Ymmy.

Anyway, I love the way that The Daily Mail tries to put a positive spin on the crap food that we’re supposedly going to have to endure for the rest of our lives. ‘You’ll no longer be able to enjoy pizza, but don’t worry because you’ll be able to enjoy some great BRITISH toast and chips’ – is ‘toast and chips’ a meal that anyone has ever had in their life ever? And if they have is it really better than pizza, even if it is BRITISH?

Millennials are obviously targeted – as I’m sure the majority of Daily Mail readers probably hate them -with the now almost compulsory avocado toast jibe, which looks set to be replaced with a delicious BRITISH egg on toast and a glass of milk. Heaven. Love how they casually mention that most UK fruit is imported in the small print but lead with avocado toast for maximum appeal to a certain cross section of society as well. Really gotta respect how well they know their audience.

Even the vegetables that we produce look way more beige and rank than the ones that are produced in the EU and that’s vegetables we’re talking about – they almost never look good. At least we’ll have Scottish whiskey to replace our multiple cups of tea and coffee a day. What could go wrong?

I’m hopeful that this is all scaremongering – or a perfect world as The Daily Mail seems to be describing it – and it won’t actually turn out like this come the end of the year and not that much will change, but it isn’t looking good at the moment is it? Fingers crossed.

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