The England football team are fucking shit. Let’s just get that out there straight away. The fact we got schooled by a country with a total population of roughly the equivalent of Doncaster is a shambles.

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Roy didn’t have a clue throughout the whole tournament and it gets even more depressing by the fact that Gareth Southgate is the bookie’s favourite to take the head honcho job at England. Let’s just take a minute to remember what Gareth Southgate is famous for. Gareth Southgate is famous for missing a penalty during the semi-finals at Euro 1996. Not only were we in the semi-finals of the European Championship. Not only was it exactly 30 years since we’d won our last major trophy as a national club. Not only was it possibly the most crucial kick of the whole tournament. No, forget all of that. We were playing Germany. And when England play Germany in an important sporting event it makes the whole situation 100x more intense (because of all the war malarky back in’t day). Fuck you Gareth Southgate for missing that penalty and fuck you for even considering leading the England team. I will never forget that penalty miss for as long as I live.

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Anyway, I digress.

News has spread this morning that Hermann Hreiðarsson- the former footballer and current manager of Fylkir in the Úrvalsdeild – PERSONALLY knew 50% of the Icelandic fans at last night’s game against England. Let’s just take a minute to consider how fucking mega that is. Imagine you’re walking home after work and you bump into two people you know. You’re going to be proper stoked, right? You’re gonna think you’re Mr Billy Big Balls man-of-the-town because TWO people said safe to you. So imagine how absolute badman you’d feel if you personally knew 50% of your nation’s fans at one of the most important games of your nation’s life as a football team. There were 35,000 people at the game last night and I expect at LEAST 5,000 (serious underestimation there too but you would expect at least 50% of those to be corp tickets and then a hefty chunk to be England fans) were Icelandic fans. This guy personally knew at least 2,500 of them. What a fucking G. I don’t have 2,500 friends on Facebook after years of stalking and random adding let alone anywhere near that number in real life.

Big ups Iceland. You deserved the win – you guys have been absolutely killing it at this year’s Euros.