A protester and self-styled anti-paedophile vigilante has come up with the ultimate defence against allegations of Islamophobic chanting: he says he was chanting “who the f*** is Alan?”, and not “who the f*** is Allah?”.

Phil Hoban, 48, who founded the group Predator Exposure, was at the anti-immigration demonstration in Leeds on August 3rd, when he and hundreds of others clashed with pro-Palestinian demonstrators in the city centre.

Hoban was last week jailed by a judge who described how he “climbed on to a barrier and started rubbing your lips towards a person of colour” and was then part of a group “who were making similarly racist and insulting gestures, some making monkey noises and gestures”.

Judge Guy Kearl KC then said to Hoban:

“You started to imitate the manner in which Muslim people pray, in order to mock their religion and, at a slightly later time, you were chanting “Allah, Allah, who the f*** is Allah?”

Hilariously, Hoban disputed this last statement, insisting that he was chanting; “Who the f*** is Alan?”

Lawyer Carmel Pearson summarised Hoban’s defence to the court, claiming that the only reason he joined in with a ‘who the f*** is Allah’ chant, is because he believed the crowd were chanting about someone called ‘Alan’.

“He was keen to tell police he is of mixed heritage and said he was shouting not ‘who the f*** is Allah’ but ‘Who the f*** is Alan?’ He said the gestures he was making was not racist but more he was making gestures to imply they were cry-babies.”

In fairness to Hoban, he did admit to two counts of racially aggravated intentional harassment, and during his testimony, renounced his actions on the day, calling himself a ‘stupid, drunken idiot’ and saying that his predator-hunting group should have ‘no room for fools like me’.

Unfortunately for Hoban, the judge did not sympathise, and jailed the father-of-three for eight months, telling him:

“What you have done cannot be viewed in isolation. It must be viewed against the background of unrest and disorder in the country.

“This was your contribution to that disorder both in this city and nationwide.

“Your conduct and that of your group was designed to stir up hatred. It took place at a time when the social climate was particularly sensitive.”

Really cannot believe that ‘Alan’ argument didn’t work, but you can’t begrudge Phil Hoban for giving it a try. The judge was simply too switched on to fall for it, and ended up jailing Hoban for 8 months, which might seem a bit harsh for a bit of (racist) public chanting, but ultimately the courts are trying to ensure that these protests and demonstrations don’t get out of control again.

Anyway, here’s hoping Hoban serves his sentence without incident and is back to being a productive, drama-free member of society in no time. InshaAlan.

For the woman jailed over a ‘blow the mosque up’ Facebook post following the Southport riots, click HERE.