Do Something Weird

Geniuses are always eccentric. They are less apt at filtering out irrelevant information in their day to day lives, and as a result they engage in some pretty odd activities. Charles Dickens used to fence with imaginary urchins when walking around London (I am not sure whether they were of the sea or street variety). Albert Einstein used to pick up old cigarette butts off the floor to get tobacco for his pipe, but we let him off because he’s Einstein, it’s all relative. The lesson here is clear; if you are perceived as an intellectual then you can get away with pretty much anything, just pass it off as an aloof habit. It’s almost certainly a defence for most petty crimes, and probably for some serious ones too.

Social Media Presence

This necessitates a balancing act between coming across nonchalant about your internet perception, whilst sneakily letting people know how clever you are. Post cryptic statuses that only a select few will understand; those who get it feel part of the ‘clever circle’ and all the proles will feel alienated. It is lonely at the top. Post Ted talks onto Facebook, but make sure they are underground ones that people haven’t seen before. Berate anyone who thinks that Ted is a shit film about a bear, which by the way, if you didn’t figure out already, was a metaphor for an STI. Tell them that.