2) Sharks

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First off, don’t go in the water, that way you’re pretty much guaranteed not to get killed by a shark (sharknado is not a documentary). But, if you’re faced with one, here’s what to do.

Your best course of action is to get out of the water, obviously. If you can’t get out you should swim very slowly away (no flailing around). If those two options are a no go then plump for the eyes. A good old-fashioned eye gouge will put him off. Or alternatively, go for the gills. They hate people touching them.

But to be quite honest with you, if the great white fella wants you, he will have you.