17. 1.38mins – FALL
Slip on ice, fall onto concrete
Bruised coccyx, dizziness
4/10
18. 1.39mins – PECKED
Central park pigeons feeding on seed stuck to whole body
Major skin lacerations, mainly face and hands, lips, eyelids, possible loss of sight, blood loss
8/10
‘They’re fictional characters’ I hear you shout. True, but is displaying the complete personal destruction of two men in one hilarious 2 hour stint to under 10’s really the underlying message of how you should enjoy the season? Should we not want to help those who cannot help themselves? Justice is served, granted, but surely Kevin could have called the 5-0 in the first 10 minutes of his escape. Surely after the 1st time, Chicago child services should have been called, and why oh why would you not double, triple check that your youngest son was strapped to you once the psychologists have had their fill on the Macallister’s want for self gratification over the needs of their offspring. Questions that will never be answered I’m afraid, and I can only guarantee that as long as Darlene Love is singing ‘All I want for Christmas is you’, no one will question a minor finding his way to the very top of the Twin Towers, alone and with a bag no-one had security checked.
