I remember that old story about a guy being swallowed alive by a hippopotamus but never really believed it to be true; however this story about the same thing happening to a two year old boy does seem a bit more plausible.

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We’re over at Lake Edward in Uganda for this one where two year old Paul Iga was playing on the shore when a hippo grabbed him between its jaws. The animal then attempted to swallow him, but thankfully a local man named Chrispas was nearby and threw stones at him until he spat Paul out.

Paul was then taken to the local hospital and given a rabies vaccine. Even though he had survived, he definitely didn’t look as if he had enjoyed the experience.

Here’s what the police report had to say about the incident:

Yeeh I gotta say, hippos just aren’t the cutesy and lovable big guys that we thought they were growing up, – probably mainly thanks to that stupid Hungry Hungry Hippos game. In fact, even though they’re herbivores they’re massively dangerous and can attack and try to swallow you if they think you pose a threat to them.

Their jaws are strong enough to chomp down on pumpkins and watermelons in one go too. That other guy I mentioned at the start of the article lost his arm when he got swallowed by one so you definitely want to steer clear if you ever catch sight of one in the wild. They also stink of shxt too so no point going near them in the first place. Get rid.

As for Paul Iga, he’s probably not going to remember this story but I’m sure it’ll be told to him at every family event for the rest of his life. It’s also gonna make him a total chick magnet when he’s a teenager. It’s alright for some hey.

For more of the same, check out this hippo pretend to save a wild antelope before brutally destroying it. Told you they were bastards.