Most heroin addicts shoplift like normal people, but this one in Derby abseiled down a quarry wall in order to steal rare peregrine falcon eggs to fund his addiction.

Tree surgeon Christopher Wheeldon, 34, was caught on a hidden wildlife camera, set up to monitor the nest, rappelling down a cliff face while hooked up to a harness.

An adult bird guarding the nest is heard having a go at Wheeldon in the video, as he abseils down and snatches the rare eggs like a pro:

These valuable eggs fetch thousands of pounds on the middle eastern avian market, and are popular with collectors (both criminal and otherwise). It would have been the perfect crime, if not for those hidden wildlife cameras catching everything on tape.

In the end, Wheeldon, from Matlock, Derbyshire, was jailed for 18 weeks after the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB) shared the footage with police officers who recognised him. Apparently he does do a bit of shoplifting and was already wanted, so was known around town.

District judge Stephen Flint told Wheeldon at Southern Derbyshire Magistrates’ Court: ‘You may see them simply as eggs for profit but this causes damage to the environment and it is a deplorable thing to do. In your state, hanging off anything, whether it’s a quarry wall or a tree, is not the best thing to do.’

I mean, sentencing the guy to 18 weeks and calling him a deplorable junkie thief is one thing, but questioning the guy’s abseiling skills? Heroin addict or not, the guy clearly knew what he was doing. Have some respect for his tree surgeon training:

When police paid a visit to Wheeldon’s address, they found the ropes and spikes he used to carry out the egg raid, but not the eggs themselves. Apparently Derby is a ‘hotspot’ for thefts of peregrine falcon eggs and is the second worst county in England for the number of offences committed. Who even knew rare falcon egg theft was such big business?

An RSPB spokesman said: ‘Sadly, no eggs or peregrines were recovered. It is considered likely that the eggs were destined to be laundered by being artificially incubated, and when hatched, the chicks passed off as “legal” captive-reared birds.’

Good luck to them and good luck to Wheeldon as well. Hopefully this viral moment is what he needs to get himself clean and sort his act out, and it’s then it’s onwards and upwards from there.

For the ex-rugby player who killed a pensioner after sucking him off in exchange for alcohol, click HERE.