5) The Government Will Give You Some Useless Advice

The British government has a video pre-recorded and ready to be broadcast in the event of a nuclear attack. This seems absurd to me for two reasons: a) if a nuclear bomb is dropped on my city my priority will definitely not be to check what’s on tele, and b) I’m fairly sure that the electrics might be down after a massive bomb has killed the majority of our population.

Image VIA

The broadcast gives advice on what to do next:

This is the Wartime Broadcasting Service. This country has been attacked with nuclear weapons… Remember there is nothing to be gained by trying to get away. By leaving your homes you could be exposing yourself to greater danger. If you leave, you may find yourself without food, without water, without accommodation and without protection. Radioactive fall-out, which follows a nuclear explosion, is many times more dangerous if you are directly exposed to it in the open….

All fairly obvious stuff, really.

So there you have it – the 5 most likely things that will happen if we end up in the middle of World War 3. Don’t worry though, I’m sure we’ll be fine. Particularly now that the Mafia are threatening to take care of ISIS themselves. With them gone hopefully things will settle down.