There are countless reasons that various people and organisations in this country are seeking to avoid a no deal Brexit, but I didn’t think that one of them would be because of the potential increase in dogging that this might bring about – turns out I was wrong though.

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An unnamed cabinet minister confessed at last week’s Tory party conference that fears existed within the government that a no deal Brexit could result in an increase in dogging due to the increased amount of queue time that lorry drivers might have to face when crossing the Channel, which have been predicted to be anything up to 100 hours longer than what they are today Here’s what the minister had to say:

One of the things we talk about in these no-deal meetings concerns hauliers and their activities.

The main thing is whether they will turn up at the Channel ports with the right paperwork. But there are also dogging hotspots all over the place.

Do Europeans even do dogging?.

There is something deeply British about dogging and this delay could spark an increase in the activity.

Right, so I guess what he’s trying to say there is that if there are Europeans left over in this country waiting to get back across the channel then they won’t be dogging, but hot damn if the Brits are left waiting then they’re gonna be heading to the nearest lay-by and getting deep down and dirty with one another. I suppose that makes sense as there literally wouldn’t be anything to do whilst you’re waiting two days to get across the Channel.

One question I’ve got to ask about all this is where the minister thinks all the women are going to be coming from. Not being sexist but surely most lorry drivers are gonna be male, so the increase in dogging kinda implies that there’s gonna be an increase in females around to get involved in this as well, unless the lorry drivers are just bumming each other. Surely not though right? Lol.

For more of the same, check out Domino’s response to a no deal Brexit. Pretty smart.