It’s always a nervous time travelling through security in an airport – I never have anything illegal but you still just get a bit scared don’t you? – and I imagine it’s about ten times worse if you actually are carrying something bad on you. It’s probably even more embarrassing if that item gets mistaken for human poop as well, which is exactly what one guy had to deal with on his recent trip from Dubai via Delhi to Mumbai.

Images VIA 

The man had a small pouch of gold paste tied below his waste, that when security officials discovered it after a routine frisking, they at first thought that the guy was a complete weirdo carrying a pouch full of poop around with him. After explaining that it was gold paste though, the pouch was confiscated but as it was worth less than the £22,000 limit for precious metals being taken into India, it will be returned to the man straight away if he pays the fine.

He clearly doesn’t have this money though which is why he was trying to hide it from officials. Sucks to be him. Here’s what a security official said about the entire incident:

During frisking, a sub-inspector from the CISF detected something under the passenger’s pants as the metal detector beeped.

The man was asked to step aside and cooperate with the officers for a detailed check. On manual checking, we found a pouch tied below the man’s waist with a masking tape.

When we cut the pouch open, there was a dark yellow paste in it which was initially thought to be human excreta.

I mean it would have been funnier if it was actually a bag of turds but you can see from the picture why people might have thought this. It looks almost exactly like someone has let off one of those snakey poos in the pouch and to be honest I would be mistaken if I was confronted with this situation. I suppose the smell might save it but that’s the only thing that would be an indicator that it wasn’t.

For more turds, check out this giant turd refusing to get flushed down the drain. Rank.