German Newspaper Blames The Team’s WAGS For Germany Being Eliminated From The World Cup

The German press is understandably embarrassed about the fact the Germans didn’t make it out of the group stage at this year’s World Cup, so how are they dealing with it? By blasting the team’s WAGS for not partying hard enough in Qatar, like that has anything to do with the football whatsoever.

Bild, the country’s paper of record, asked “What’s wrong with our Wags?” after Germany was eliminated last Thursday. Their significant others, according to Bild, didn’t enjoy themselves enough in Qatar.

The paper claimed the German wives and girlfriends had much less fun than the partners of England and Wales, who could “drink Qatar dry.”

“Not thirsty?” the paper asked. “Dancing leg allergy? Don’t feel like lunging?”

“Be happy that you too are now flying home with your football dwarves!” Bild concluded. “It can’t go on like this…”

Unreal spin by Bild to effectively try and get people talking about the WAGs rather than the team’s shambolic performance, where they’ve gone out at the group stages two World Cups in a row now. I mean they could blame it on a lot of things but the WAGs not partying hard enough?

Obviously the English and Welsh are going to “drink Qatar dry” – that’s what we do everywhere we go. Yeah sure the Germans love their beer but you can hardly expect them to compete with the likes of Harry Maguire’s wife or Phil Foden’s girlfriend. Even if we are pretending like the amount the WAGS party correlates to how well the team does on the pitch.

The good news is that in 2026, the World Cup will be held in the USA where there will be no restrictions on drinking and partying whatsoever. Which means the German WAGS have no excuse not to go completely balls to the wall. Yeah the team might end up being eliminated early again, but at least their wives and girlfriends will have a good time.