Labour

As Jeremy Paxman put it, most people think if Ed Miliband went into a room with Putin then five minutes later he’d come out crying. Last time Labour were in power we ended up in a financial crisis, and with an illegal war in Iraq on our hands.

Even if their policies looked good, which I don’t think they do, the thought of electing Ed as the leader of our country just seems a bit depressing, and no doubt given time he’ll steer the UK back into another carefully planned fiscal nightmare. If you work as a bailiff, then maybe Labour might be the right choice for you. Otherwise, don’t waste your vote here.

But then again, Katie Hopkins might leave if they’re voted into power.