The Premier League starts tomorrow and one of the most interesting storylines revolves around newly promoted Nottingham Forest, who have ditched seven of the players that won them promotion and brought in 13 new faces.
Featured Image VIA
Not content with that influx of talent though, they’re also looking to sign Willem II striker Jizz Hornkamp. Hornkamp doesn’t seem to have that great a goal scoring record – he managed four in 14 as Willem II were relegated from the Eredivisie – but fans are super excited about his impending arrival due to the puns that can be made thanks to his name and the fact that they can get ‘Jizz’ on the back of their shirts now.
Here’s a few of the best:
Jizz Hornkamp is a headline writer’s dream.
“Jizz gives Forest the happy ending they were searching for”
“Forest finish off in style with Jizz all over the opposition from the start”
“Forest come from behind with Jizz the star of the show”
I’ll stop now. https://t.co/PdUeD8o1Hb
— HLTCO (@HLTCO) August 4, 2022
‘New boys Nottingham Forest played their first Premier League home game this century as they took on West Ham, and with Jizz Hornkamp making his debut there was never going to be a clean sheet. Steve Wilson was at the City Ground’ pic.twitter.com/JkP2WI2mLf
— Eugene (@eugeneh84) August 4, 2022
Missed a trick here by not saying that “Nottingham Forest are confident in their move for Jizz Hornkamp and are hopeful that they can pull it off over the coming days.”
It was right there… https://t.co/8MpYXw6Juw
— Biggies Malls 2.0 (@Biggies_MaIIs) August 3, 2022
Nottingham Forest close to signing a striker called Jizz Hornkamp. I wonder if he’s going to Cum…
— Spion Kop (@TheKopHQ) August 4, 2022
The Jizz Hornkamp to Forest transfer HAS to happen, just so I can hear Martin Tyler say in commentary:
“Jizz is everywhere”
— schwitzy (@schwitzyoo) August 4, 2022
If Jizz Hornkamp signs, do we get Jizz or Hornkamp on the back of the shirt? No69 of course. #nffc
— Forestman (@cakeyandcrispy) August 4, 2022
Apparently #NFFC face stiff opposition from Peruvian side Deportivo Wanka to get their hands on Jizz Hornkamp…
— BadgerNature (@BadgerNature) August 4, 2022
Nottingham Forest are interested in signing Jizz Hornkamp. While everyone is making puns on his spectacular name, it’s worth remembering he once scored four times in 34 minutes.
— These Football Times (@thesefootytimes) August 4, 2022
OK that last one was include just to show that he’s not a complete joke – actually looks kinda decent, although anyone can look good in a YouTube video – but mostly all of those ‘puns’ were either really bad or really obvious.
Who cares though? Totally there for it because I’m as immature as everyone else in the world apparently. Really really hope Forest manage to get him and he turns out to be amazing too. Praying for Jizz this summer.
For more of the same, check out this guy who broke into a woman’s house so he could jizz in her orange juice. Freak.
