Wayne Rooney – Manchester United Attacker & Care Home Worker

I know what you’re thinking…he makes far too much money from blagging a £250,000 a week contract with United plus all his endorsements for Brylcream and Nike – he doesn’t need a part-time job!

I would have to agree with you but apparently the maintenance costs on keeping that battleaxe of a wife of his happy is pretty high.

When Wayne Rooney isn’t putting it where he wants it (Nike quote – not sex joke) he is putting it where he wants it (sex joke – not Nike quote) – right in the asshole of that granny you stuffed in a care home last Winter.

As spokesman and chief-fucker of old grannies everywhere, Wazza makes it his business to regularily visit the ghettos of the elderly to make sure that no matter how elderly women are – that they are still getting their just desserts.

Here’s a lovely picture of Rooney just after he found out he would have to go back to fvcking Coleen instead of random old granny whores…poor lad.

So next time your bird asks you to get a second job at a pub to help pay for extra swim lessons for your kid or something just man up and do it – cos it could be worse – you could be banging old farts with Wazza to please the battleaxe.