These Are Officially The Five Worst Possible Ways To Die

Scientist Paul Doherty and writer Cody Cassidy have come up with what they believe to be a list of the five most horrible and painful ways to die.

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The morbid duo came up with their theories after spending two years researching the most interesting ways for someone’s life to end. They then revealed their answers in a Reddit Q&A. Here goes:

Being crushed by a lift

Apparently if you ever find yourself in a falling lift, you should lie on your back in order to “spread out the G forces evenly through your body”. If you’re standing, your organs might keep falling through your body, even if the lift stops. Grim.

Falling down the Mariana Trench and being devoured by a bone-eating snot flower

This one is seriously specific. The Mariana Trench is the deepest known part of the world’s oceans, with depths in excess of around 36,000 feet.

Doherty says:

If you sank to the bottom of the Mariana Trench you would drown before you reached a crushing depth.

But if you found a small submersible boat or other craft, and were able to swim out at the bottom, you would experience a different kind of death.

The air pockets inside you, namely in your nasal cavity, throat and chest, would be a problem. Those would collapse inward, which would fatal.

Because you wouldn’t have any air, you wouldn’t float to the surface and you would likely stay at the bottom to be consumed by the bone-eating snot flower, which usually eats whale bones but would probably make an exception in this case.

Getting too close to a neutron star

A neutron star is the result of the death of a huge star, which are around 15 times larger than the sun. Here’s what would happen if you were close to one of these explosions:

You would be killed by extreme gravity. This means if your head is pointed toward the neutron star it will be tugged toward the star much more strongly than your feet and this tidal force will rip you apart.

Neutron stars are a hundred billion times stronger magnets than the strongest magnets on earth.

At those levels of magnetism your atoms are distorted into thin cigars and all the bonds between atoms that make up the molecules in your body are broken. This means you become a plasma shaped human cloud that is tidally stretched and pulled into the star.

Trippy.

Being struck by a particle accelerator

Apparently a Russian scientist called Anatoli Bugorski was struck by one of these badboys in 1978:

Whether you would die or not would depend on the power of the particle accelerator and how much radiation it was carrying.

Bugorski’s accelerator was 100 less times as powerful than the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) and it was also only a single pulse, while the LHC is a machine gun.

The beam paralysed one side of Anatoli Bugorki’s face. As a result now many years later one side of his face is smooth and unwrinkled while the other side has aged by decades.

But since Bugorski nearly died from radiation poisoning, we think a hit from the LHC would be lethal.

Jumping through a hole in the earth

If you jumped through a hole in the earth it would take around 45 minutes to reach the other side. However, you would burn to death before you even reached the core:

The centre of the earth is hotter than the surface of the sun, so you’d cook.

The pressure and density of the air starts out doubling every 15,000 feet of depth (3 miles) so after 10 doublings at 15,000 feet and 30 miles the air is as dense as water and you sink no further.

So basically you’d be slow-cooked by the earth. Fun!