The Eurovision Song Contest Is Well Renowned For Having Some Truly Terrible Songs, But Finland’s Entry This Year Might Be The Worst Yet

Did anyone watch Eurovision on Saturday? I didn’t, cause I was talking codshit to randomers at a house party in Brixton till the sun rose. However, Finland’s entry popped up on my facebook feed and here’s a few reasons why I thought it was one of the shittest things I’ve ever heard/ seen.

The song is called ‘Marry Me’ and it was performed by Krista Siegfrids, a 27 year old singer from Kaskinen, a town in Western Finland (nice one Wikipedia). She appeared on stage in a wedding dress with a 90’s style all girl backing dancer troupe. The song itself was completely banal pop punk mixed with wedding bells, who reckoned that was a good combo? Krista’s pitching was off and the register felt too high giving it that scratchy, annoying timbre.

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The lyrics were point blank bad and more than a bit questionable, including: “oh oh, oh oh, oh oh a ding dong” and “I don’t think there are no ladies that would give you cuter babies”. I thought the days of women being validated in society for being cute lil’ baby making machines were over, but maybe not. Another gem was “I’m your slave and you’re my master”. Really? “Skipping dinner to get thinner/ Where is my proposal?” was the icing on the lyrical shitcake though. You don’t need to be Joan Smith or Laurie Penny to find that one particularly disturbing.

Some interesting facts I picked up purely from Graham Norton are that the song was composed as a hint to her boyfriend. Subtle work there Krista. And it got the Eurovision show banned in Turkey cause two girls kissed at the end… Oooh edgy!

According to the Daily Mail, (sorry literally the only source I could find who had reported on this) she was making a statement about Finland not allowing gay marriage despite another quote in the same article from her saying: “I don’t think the song is political”. This left me even more confused so I gave up. Make your own mind up below:

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