This Facebook Post About A Horse Cock Very Nearly Sent Britain To War

We’ve all made a joke about a sausage being a cock, right? Imagine if people got precious about it and kicked off, though?

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This guy wasn’t even joking. He posted on Facebook about a Kyrgyzstan delicacy called a ‘chuchuk’ sausage, mistaking it for a horse’s cock. It’s a very simple mistake to make (kind of) ,and is also pretty funny. But nobody is going to get overly offended and want to wage war, right?

Wrong.

Michael McFeat is a 39 year old mine worker from Scotland, and he made the mistake. It ended up with him being deported from the former Soviet Republic, after his post caused national outrage. He was told by police that his status could ‘spark a war between Kyrgyzstan and the UK’. Really.

He said:

The police told me my act could send Kyrgyzstan to war with the UK.

I was told my post had caused an uprising and there was a lynch mob of hundreds coming to get me — so they needed me off the site for my own safety.

It was true, as well. Nine hours into his escape from the country, he was ambushed by two cars full of armed nutcases out for revenge.

They were ramming us — trying to kill us.

We stopped and five of them came out with something in their hands. I wasn’t sure if they were guns or knives or clubs — so I hid in the boot. The driver put the jeep into reverse and fled.

They ended up chasing us all around the town.

Fuck that.

But just how offensive was his post? What did he say? Well, he posted a picture of his mate with a sausage, along with the caption:

The Kyrgyz people queuing out of the door for their special delicacy the horse’s penis!

Quick, prepare the army!

Michael is now back in Scotland, safe and sound, and has removed the offending post, and offered an apology instead.

Thankfully, we aren’t at war with Kyrgyzstan, no thanks to fucking Mike over there. But if World War 3 DID kick off, what exactly would it mean for us?

So don’t go causing it, okay? Keep posting ‘new year – new me’ posts and shit blurry pictures from your nights out, and leave the horse cocks alone, for all of our sakes.