I don’t know why every football team feels the need to have some dramatic announcement video every time they sign a new player or do anything, because they almost universally get completely and utterly trounced by everyone with an opinion when they drop as they’re almost always universally awful. Every single time.

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I didn’t really have any expectations that a video announcing the England squad would be any better, but I don’t think I could have possibly dreamt of anyone coming up as anything as embarrassing as the video below. In what I’m assuming is an effort to celebrate the diversity of the youth in this fine country, the FA in their infinite wisdom thought that it would be a good idea to get some kid from each player’s hometown to announce they were in the squad and well, take a look at the results and see what you think:

Wow. So what I get from that is that England is literally full of chavs and that this is what the FA is trying to promote to the country. Maybe I’m just getting old but that didn’t strike me as remotely urban, edgy or cool – despite the obvious intention – but it just seemed like a horrible mishmash of bad ideas that made me hate the FA even more than I already did. I mean I like the idea of promoting the unity of all the different cultures and abilities/disabilities within our country but it’s just so tacky and seemingly out of touch with reality that it just comes across as a completely loud and obnoxious. Awful.

What’s even more amazing to me is the amount of people within the FA and outside marketing and media agencies that must have had to sign off on this before it was actually made, and then they saw the actual finished video and STILL decided that it was a good idea to put it out there. The only reason that I can come up with is that the FA decided to release this squad announcement video was to try and distract people from just how shitty the squad is in the first place. In fairness, I think that’s a pretty good plan and it probably would have worked had the squad not been so monumentally shit in the first place. Nice try.

For more squad announcement videos, check out the EA FIFA 18 World Cup Edition announcement. That’s how you do it.