Things are about to get just a tad bit confusing in biology classrooms around the UK, as pupils as young as eight are to be taught that ‘all genders’ have periods.

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This comes after new guidelines were issued to teachers to help them avoid offending girls who identify as boys.

Critics are condemning the decision as unnecessarily confusing, inappropriate, and an example of political correctness gone mad.

The teacher guidance, from Brighton & Hove City Council, states: ‘Trans boys and men and non-binary people may have periods.’ It says language about menstruation must be inclusive of ‘all genders’ and orders that ‘bins for used period products are provided in all toilets’ for children.

The guidance comes after it was reported that a state secondary in Brighton has 40 pupils who ‘do not identify as [the] gender presented at birth’. Progressive!

Brighton & Hove City Council explains:

By encouraging effective education on menstruation and puberty, we hope to reduce stigma and ensure no child or young person feels shame in asking for period products inside or outside of school if they need them.

We believe that it’s important for all genders to be able to learn and talk about menstruation together… Our approach recognises the fact that some people who have periods are trans or non-binary.

Well I guess that explains the dodgy stomach I’ve had all morning. I’ve felt really irritable, grumpy, and pretty sure I was about to vomit a few times. Thought it was the late night at the pub, but turns out I’m just on my period? Time to have a serious chat with the bartender I think.

Still I suppose I should be grateful for all the new creative possibilities this opens up – this lady in Chile collected her period blood and transformed it into a work of art.