There are loads of places that you can try and pick up a member of the opposite sex, but I think one of the most inappropriate absolutely has to be at a funeral.

Images VIA 

Despite the fact that this is pretty awful behaviour, a guy named Gabrielle Simiyu (pictured below) from over in Kenya managed to look like even more of an idiot after he turned to a goat in order to get off following his rejection by a woman at a funeral. I suppose that was probably the next best thing for him, right? Every hole’s a goal, etc.

The trouble was, the owner of the goat (pictured aboved) wasn’t very happy about this. Richard Wanyonyi said the following about the incident:

I heard the goat’s bleating when I was sleeping and decided to go and find out why.

It was dark so I took my time and when I reached there I saw someone jump and go to the cow shed but he forgot his shoes.

Since it was at night I did not see him very well so I took the shoes he left behind and began a search in the morning.

Wanyoni raised the alarm about what Simiyu was up to and he soon found himself being chased around Nangwe village by a lynch mob. I suppose fucking another man’s goat over there is really badly looked upon. Fortunately the police were able to intervene before Simiyu was actually lynched, but he’s probably going to think twice before he fucks someone else’s goat again.

Indeed, it’s rumoured that this isn’t the first time he’s engaged with activity like this before, with people saying that they’ve heard of him having sex with chickens and cows in the past too. It seems like this may have been the wake up call that he needed though, saying the following:

I have a serious problem and need help. Every time I approach a girl she refuses and it really pains me.

I am appealing to well-wishers to take me to a doctor or a specialist so the problem I have can be identified.

Maybe try not doing it at a funeral pal? If it’s still a problem, just do what everyone does when they get rejected by a girl, hit the bar or hire a hooker or something. Not really about fucking your neighbour’s farm animals in that situation is it?

For more animal fucking, check out this interview with a guy that’s been having sex with horses for ten years. Rare.