A 52-year-old guy has gone to prison after he tried to cut off his mate’s dick with an axe. And the reason? Well apparently he lost to his buddy in a penis measuring competition.

Featured Image VIA

The pair had been arguing over who had the bigger dick during a drinking session (as you do) so they decided to settle matters by getting out a tape measure and seeing who was most endowed.

After seeing that his mate was more ‘manly’ than him, he saw red, went for the axe, hit his buddy over the head and then went for his wiener. Talk about letting your jealous side take over. Seems like there must have been some underlying issues lurking under the surface. A police spokesperson said:

Over two days the men were binge drinking, which led to a violent argument.

When words were exhausted, the attacker pulled out an axe and first struck the opponent on the head, then cut off his manhood.

Image VIA

Brutal. Apparently the men, who live in the village of Nikolsk, Russia, have been buddies since childhood and often get pissed up together. I wonder why nothing like this had happened sooner?

Anyway, the unnamed attacker has been detained and could face up to eight years in prison. All because he lost to a penis-size competition. Bit of an overreaction – I mean, it must suck if you’re insecure about the size of your manhood but it’s not like he was up against loads of components. It was only him and his buddy. And if he was really that bothered, rather than severing off his mate’s dick, he should’ve just shelled out £6,000 to get it enlarged. Simple.