Wild story out of a TeesideLive today about a young lady who went on an absolute rampage during a night out in Middlesbrough, spitting in the face of a bar manager before pooping on a police officer who tried to arrest her.

Cody Boulton, 24, was found lying on the ground outside The Intrepid Explorer pub on Linthorpe Road where had earlier spat at the off-duty manager. When officers tried to arrest her, she became verbally abusive and started flailing around and resisting arrest.

Boulton reportedly kicked one officers who had tied to pull her arms around to handcuff her, and then straight up defecated on another female officer who had sat on top of her while she was face down.

Which makes the whole thing a bit confusing, tbh. If Miss Boulton was laying face down on the floor, with the officer sat on top of her, how was she able to poop on her from this position? Apparently the officer’s trousers were “soaked in excrement in urine”, how?! No underwear, projectile diarrhea and p1ss that defeats gravity? Like the Middlesbrough version of an octopus releasing ink?

In any case, the officer told Teeside Magistrates Court this week that she was “outraged” by the incident. Her work trousers were “soaked in excrement and urine”, and she had to try to wash the faeces off them before having to “endure the smell for the remainder of my shift.”

Wait, did they really make her work the remainder of her shift in those trousers? I know police are short-staffed at the moment, but come on!

Boulton admitted two offences of assaulting a police officer and another assault charge for the spitting attack on the bar manager. She was handed a 12-month community order with community activity and alcohol treatment requirement. She was also ordered to pay £100 in compensation to the three victims. Fair enough, really.

To watch a man poop himself on a rollercoaster and have it end up landing on the unsuspecting crowd below, click HERE. Outrageous.