When writing a review of a film starring 16-year-old Dora The Explorer on her high school adventures, it’s probably a good idea not to sound like you were super horny when you wrote it.

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Unfortunately for Todd McCarthy of the Hollywood Reporter, his review of the new live-action Dora and the Lost City of Gold came off just a tad bit weird and creepy.

Here’s the first paragraph (read the full review here):

Dora’s grown up a bit since her seemingly perennial childhood through eight seasons on TV beginning in 2000 and her briefer tween years starting in 2009, but the audience will remain largely hormone-free for her big-screen debut in Dora and the Lost City of Gold.

OK then. Bit weird but it’s only the first paragraph so let’s pretend we never read that and carry on…

Oh wait it gets worse:

What keeps things alive, up to a point, is the imperturbable attitude of the titular heroine, who is invested with try-and-stop-me spirit by Moner, who’s actually 18 and looks it despite preventive measures. The same goes for Wahlberg, who’s 19. There’s a palpable gap you can’t help but notice between the essentially innocent, borderline-pubescent nature of the leading characters and the film itself, and the more confident and mature vibes emanating from the leading actors. The director seems to be trying to keep the hormones at bay, but there are some things you just can’t disguise, perhaps human nature first and foremost. Dora seems committed to projecting a pre-sexualized version of youth, while throbbing unacknowledged beneath the surface is something a bit more real, its presence rigorously ignored. To be believed, this story should have been set in 1955.

Erm, is it just me or does this guy really want to have sex with Dora The Explorer? Obviously they’re “projecting a pre-sexualised version of youth”, it’s a Dora The Explorer film produced by Nickelodeon for the same sort of audience that watches the cartoon version. It’s a PG film.

Apparently Todd McCarthy has been reviewing films over four decades, how did he not delete this entire review after writing it and start again?

Here’s the general reaction online:

This is Todd McCarthy btw:

I’m not saying anything.

For more creeps, get a load of the campaign trying to stop a twisted ‘zoophile’ from having sex with his dog. What is up with some people?